Monday, October 19, 2020

My Healing Journey: The Holidays

I am STILL on my healing journey. I have made progress, but my healing is still in progress. Some days I wish that my healing progressed far enough to positively affect my weight noticeably. But, there are signs that I am healing (like strong detox responses, for example). My healing is just not so much with the noticeably...yet.

Although, my friend says she has noticed my acne seems to have cleared up. And it has, sort of. My face doesn't have so many red splotchy marks. But I notice the little pops that come up every once in awhile. Usually when I am having a strong detox response. So, of course I focus on that. But shifting my focus from negative to positive is still a healing area in progress too. I do see the positive more so now than I used to though.

    

Another area I am still working on is my relationship with and my response to the holidays. 

It is Hallowthankmas 😏 time again. And that means traditions, family, and food.

When Hallowthankmas rolls around, this is what comes to my mind:

  • Pumpkin Spice Lattes 🎃☕ 😋 
  • CANDY! 🍬🍫
  • Cookies, pastries, cakes, pies! 🍪🍰🍩
  • Family 👪
  • Friends 😃
  • Rewatching Halloween movies I like (mostly the Disney type).
  • Weekends filled with Hallmark Christmas movies even thought it is not even Thanksgiving yet. And in recent years, it is not even Halloween yet when the Christmas movies start.
  • Rewatching Christmas movies and tv shows I like (A Charlie Brown Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life for example).
  • On Thanksgiving Day, eating so much that you can barely breathe, but the second you can breathe again, bring on the pie.
  • The day after Thanksgiving means bringing out the Christmas decorations and starting the Christmas music. 🎄🎶 And bring on the peppermint mocha, hot cocoa, and matcha lattes.
  • Christmas lights. Not mine. Driving by to look at the work other people have done.
  • Presents 🎁
  • Alcohol 🍷 🎉Happy New Year!
The holidays have not always been great and wonderful for me. But, looking back, I am missing when things seemed wonderful. When I was my one grandma's favorite. Or when my other grandma baked me loaves of bread. When relatives thought I was cute and fun to be around. When life was not so complicated. When life seemed to be more exciting and life did not hurt so much.





 







Though I look back nostalgically, I am not the same person now that I was then. I am at a different energy level.
☝ On the one hand, I do not now wish to return to the person I once was. I have already been her.
✌ On the other hand, I continue to hang on to the person I once was through food, especially around the holidays.

I realize that I would not now be the person I am without having been the person I was first. And I like who I am now. 

Yet there is something keeping me hanging on to who I was. Probably because this is an area of healing that still needs to be done.

My body is physically reacting differently to my traditional holiday foods. Like, my body is no longer tolerating unhealthy food for long, nor is my body tolerating unhealthy amounts of food. Yet I still keep consuming these foods. Even trying to change up the recipe to a healthier more healing version from the Medical Medium website disconnects me from the nostalgic feelings. I  know it is not so much the physical aspect of the foods, it is something spiritual and emotional within me that needs the healing. When that healing happens, the food will not matter so much.

If you are ready and willing to change up some of your holiday recipes, check out the recipe blog on the Medical Medium website -- https://www.medicalmedium.com/medical-medium-blog-recipes.htm

Here are some direct links to healthier holiday recipes (I have not actually tried any of these yet) --
*Links open a new window.

If you are interested in listening to any of the Medical Medium podcasts, here is one about coffee --
https://soundcloud.com/medicalmedium/007-coffee-matcha-chocolate-abusive-relationship



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Thursday, June 4, 2020

Who's the scary one again?









Click here for Twitter post.

Why the heck does this police officer appear to be so scared of a dad with his child? 
Oh yeah, they're black.

Some of the most notorious criminals in history are white. So why are too many white people so afraid of black people?
Oh yeah, racism.

This crap has to stop. 

Time to cancel racism. 

Time to cancel hate.

It is time for love.

It is time to rise up out of the darkness of hate and into the light of love.

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Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Time to Shine

Now is the time to shine the light of you.

There are those who have been comfortable in the dim and the dark who will shout to turn off the light. For far too long, we listened to them.

 

No more.

It's been 2 years since I posted anything on my blog, not for lack of something to say, but for being overwhelmed with what to say. I cannot not say anything any longer.

For far too long, there's been an US vs THEM mentality in the world:
Village X is better than Village Y.
Social Status X is better than Social Status Y.
High School X is better than High School Y.
College X is better than College Y.
Sport A team X is better than Sport A team Y.
Job X is better than Job Y.
Country X is better than Country Y.
Gender X is better than Gender Y.
Sexual Orientation X is better than Sexual Orientation Y.
Religion X is better than Religion Y.
Skin Color X is better than Skin Color Y.

This won't change over night, but it needs to change.


Shine your light. Shine bright. Lumos maxima!


---------

I grew up white. My school books taught me that white people created practically everything. I grew up with white Disney princesses. I grew up with white Jesus. So, like most white people, I didn't realize there was anything wrong with life on Earth.

I grew up listening to older people use racial slurs as a matter of course and laughing about it.

There was 1 black kid in my grade school, and we were not nice to her. I was probably one of the meanest people to her. I had been bullied by other kids. When she showed up in school, she had some quirks and a demeanor that made her seem weaker than me, so I bullied her and did my worst to make her feel like less in order to make myself feel like more. I started bullying her about her quirks, but I laid into her skin color. The racial slurs that I had heard come out of other people's mouths were coming out of mine. I have no idea what happened to her. She was not in my Junior High, or High School. I hope she's okay now.

I had some healing to do. I had some learning to do.

I grew up before the internet was a thing. So, it's not like I could just go on Google to learn real history instead of the white washed version I'd been taught.

People were/are part of my growth process. One of my friends in grade school was of Mexican descent. One of my friends in Junior High was of Japanese descent. One of my friends in college was of Chinese descent. And my best friend, whom I met in Junior High, was born in Iran (she is now a naturalized citizen). I'm not trying to virtue signal here. These people are how I healed. These people are how I learned.

Not everyone I tried to be friends with so that I could learn was all that into wanting to let me. Too many questions. Too intense. Too much. Not their job to teach me. Mad at me for not already knowing stuff. Even some of the people who were friends with me for awhile, got burned out.

The one person who lasted, the one person who is still in my life today, is the one person who is the most patient while I ask questions (probably a bit insensitively at times). She is my best friend, and like a sister to me. I am thankful for her.

Not all of my awakening and learning was from people/friends.  I needed to heal me. I needed to do the work of looking within. I needed to fix what was broken within. I needed to realize that I cannot control life, nor can I control people. I needed to concentrate on finding the real me.

The real me realizes that the world does not revolve around me. The real me realizes that being compassionate towards others takes nothing away from me.  The real me realizes that I lose nothing of myself by allow others to also be themselves. The real me realizes that there is no US vs THEM. The real me realizes that there is only WE. The real me realizes that I am you and you are me and we are one.


Though I consider myself woke now, I realize that I still have learning to do.

For example, when Colin Kaepernick first took a knee at an NFL game during the national anthem, I was right there with most white people asking why he was disrespecting the flag and the country. It wasn't until I heard the explanation of why he took a knee that I understood. Go Colin!

And, when Black Lives Matter first started, I was right there with most white people saying that all lives matter. It wasn't until I heard explanations that I understood. One of the explanations that helped me was something about burning houses (I wish I'd bookmarked it). The explanation was something to the effect of a neighbor's house is burning, and while all the houses in the neighborhood are worth saving, this one house that is burning right now needs the attention of the firefighters.

Right now, life on Earth is changing. For the better. We are coming out of the dark. No matter how dim your light may be at this moment in time, your light can grow. Keep shining your light. Keep learning.
1 Peter 3
10 For Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.

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