Tarot Tuesday -- May 01, 2018

Today's question: Am I on the right path with my healing?

Today's spread: The Cross of Truth

The result:

BASIS:

The Four of Swords says that I am currently still convalescing, still healing. Even though I may want to be done with the process, I still need to charge my batteries and rejuvenate so that when the time comes to get a move on, I'll be ready to do just that. Things will heat up soon, so for now, just chill.

I decide when he's well. It's your turn when I say it's your turn.
...
I like that; the patient telling the doctor it's alright.
--Patricia Hayes as Urgl in The Neverending Story

https://vimeo.com/116808115

DESIRES:

The Ten of Cups says that I desire love and happiness in a lasting successful marriage.

This is actually one of my nightly prayers:
"I desire a happy, healthy, loving marriage."

No fear, no loss, no tears,

The time is almost here.
Our dreams will all come true, I promise you
--Robbie Robb's In Time from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

https://youtu.be/9V03gdN1jNs

HELPFUL:

The Nine of Cups says that my wishes (aka desires) will come true. I will be emotionally healthy to enjoy the love and happiness coming my way. And I will be physically healthy so that I will have the stamina to enjoy the fortune of love coming my way. The 2 mice remind me to stay focused.

Raise a Green Juice to your health.
Cheers!
http://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/healing-power-of-celery

OPPOSING:

The Eight of Cups says that the challenge I will have to face is walking away from my current way of life. To realize what no longer fulfills me and walk away. To know that I have healed and let go of the past. The challenge of being myself. The mole says to let go of doubt, and just trust. 

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

--Disney's Frozen, Let It Go
https://youtu.be/moSFlvxnbgk

OUTCOME:

The Seven of Cups says that I will have a plethora of good choices available to me soon and warns me not to get lost in or overwhelmed by my good fortunes. Choose wisely. Don't get lost in the clouds. The dove indicates peace.

Oh, the rhythm of my heart Is beating like a drum
With the words I love you Rolling off my tongue
No never will I roam For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing

-- Rod Stewart's Rhythm of My Heart
https://youtu.be/MEbC46YxXlY

Overall, I'd say the cards are saying yes, I am on the right path. Stay focused. Good stuff is on the way.

You stay focus.
You best karate still inside you.
Now time let out.

--Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid Part III

https://youtu.be/_S6GYF1B8Yk

Tarot Tuesday -- April 24, 2018

I decided to try my hand at tarot card reading. I've been interested in it for awhile. So, when I was visiting my friend in Vegas in February, and we wandered through a store with tarot decks, I bought one. It just felt like the right time to buy a tarot deck. I then let it sit for a couple of months before I opened the package because I was not yet motivated to do a reading.

Earlier in April, I got motivated to do a reading for myself to try my skills. I did the Celtic Cross, and the outcome was super positive. Lots of love in my future! :-)

The specifics of that reading I'm keeping to myself. But after that reading, I had the thought to do a tarot reading every Tuesday. And this is my first Tarot Tuesday, and my second reading.

The deck I'm using is the Gilded Tarot by Ciro Marchetti.
The book I'm using is Easy Tarot Handbook by Josephine Ellershaw.

Today's question: How are we doing in the United States?*

*Actually, Josephine Ellershaw advises in the handbook to write
down your question and keep track of your interpretations.
I did not write down my question because I thought for sure
I'd remember what I asked. I did not. Not exactly.
It was something like, what is the state of the States?
So, this question is approximately what I asked.
Lesson learned.

The spread I felt I should use is the Nine Card Spread. I closed my eyes, shuffled the cards, divided the deck into 3 piles, gathered those piles into 1, and laid out the cards using my right hand. Here is what I laid out:

The Past:

There are two fire cards (Cups) followed by an air card (Swords): Five of Cups, Four of Cups, Six of Swords.

The Present:

There are three air cards (Swords): Five of Swords, Three of Swords, Two of Swords.

The Future:

There is 1 air card (Swords) followed by 1 earth card (Pentacles), followed by 1 air card (Swords): Ace of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, Queen of Swords.

My overall interpretation:
We in the United States were disillusioned, now we're arguing, but everything will be okay.

But like, duh...anyone who's even half paying attention to what's going on now could've said the exact same thing without doing a tarot reading, right?

Well, yeah, probably. But, the cards are communicating that the spirit realm is confirming that, and reassuring that everything will turn out okay, if we work on it.

More specifically on The Past:

The Five of Cups says that we citizens of the U.S. were feeling disappointed with the way things were going. That we felt we were not being heard by our government, and we felt our voices were lost. Like the country we all loved had betrayed us. We saw only the disappointments and failures. We did not, could not, would not see that all was not indeed lost.

The Four of Cups says that we got burned out by our disappointment. So much so that we could not see, or didn't care to see, that the hand of God was working on our behalf to better things. Because we could not see this guiding hand, we felt like our voices didn't matter, so why bother caring. Like, my 1 vote doesn't matter, so why bother voting at all. Like we just decided to concentrate on "me" and let go of the stress of worrying about things we felt we could not change. A lot of us just stopped paying attention and we drank the Kool-aid.

The Six of Swords says that our long journey of disappointment, disillusionment, and hopelessness came to an end. The woman is sailing out of the Past into the Present. The sun was setting on the previous 2 cards, and then we entered the night. While we slept, we were carried out of our fog. And  even though there were swords stuck in the bottom of our boat, some by ourselves and some by our enemies, we did not sink. Fear not. There is hope.

More specifically on The Present:

The Five of Swords says that after our boat ride through the night, through our disillusionment, we wake up to a new day of realizing there is deliberate deceit at work. That there are people claiming to be heroes who are not at all what they claim to be. That those people do not deserve to be heralded. We now see that some people in power who claim to be on our side are not; they are on their side. Most of us who were asleep are now woke and are paying attention again.

The Three of Swords says that now that we are waking up and seeing the deceit around us, we are angry. We are mad at the deceivers. We are mad at ourselves. We are mad at our neighbors, friends, and family. We are just mad. And as we work things out, we fight not only the deceivers, we fight ourselves as well. But we need to see that through all the fighting, we are arguing over the same love for our country. The storm can clear, and there can be a resolution, a healing.

The Two of Swords says that not everyone sees a problem going on in the United States. While some citizens are woke, some are not. Those who are not yet woke, don't see, can't see, or won't see why some people are so angry. Those citizens who have removed their blindfolds need to realize that not every U.S. citizen has done so. Yelling at someone that there is a problem when that person does not, cannot, or will not see that there is a problem is getting us nowhere. Those with blindfolds still on, are not responding to the yelling and the anger. We need a different approach. Even those who are woke are not moving us forward when all we do is yell at each other. We've created an "us" vs "them" atmosphere and we need to be creating a "we" atmosphere.

Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

More specifically on The Future:

The Ace of Swords says if we come together to create that "we" atmosphere, we can and will triumph over this storm of anger. Our success will require everyone to dig deep inside themselves and find the strength we each need to start discussing rather than arguing so that we can bring about real change. If we can do that, we will heal ourselves, and that is something to be celebrated.

The Queen of Pentacles says that a powerful, hard working, practical, detail oriented woman will bring us into a time of prosperity. Maybe we elect a woman president who brings about this prosperity. Maybe it's actually many women (many standing as one) taking on important rolls in society and/or government who bring about this prosperity.

On Earth...

The Queen of Swords says after all our suffering, the light of truth will shine. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

...as it is in Heaven.

Have faith and hope, United States. This too shall pass. We shall heal.

Golden Rule

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

THAT golden rule, not a diatribe about Trump. ;-)

I have seen people behave in a rather ungolden manner for years.

Back when Obama became President of the United States (POTUS), there was some talk and behavior that I didn't care for.  Some of the people who were unhappy that he won spewed a lot of hatred.  As an example:

www.revelist.com/politics/america-responds-obama/5855/keep-protesting/6 

I actually un-friended people on Facebook, but not because of differing opinions. Because their posts looked an awful lot like prejudice and bigotry. 

One side calling the other side names.  Didn't matter which side. 

Everyone claiming they're in the right, they're the good guys.

Now that Trump is POTUS, we're STILL going after each other.

www.theguardian.com/science/2016/nov/28/snowflake-insult-disdain-young-people

www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/huppke/ct-libtard-huppke-20161229-story.html

www.nydailynews.com/new-york/manhattan/naked-trump-statue-sells-auction-22g-article-1.2841897

Somewhere along the line, we stopped collaborating and started just calling each other names.  Our 2 party system that was supposed to help create a balance in this country as each side came together for the greater good, finding that middle ground that could propel our country forward, broke.  Now it seems it's come down to, "if you're not on my side, then f--- you!"

Now, instead of quickly un-friending someone online, I've actually tried to listen (or read) what they're trying to say.  Trying to look past any hate or degrading wording and try to listen to what the "other side" is saying.

If we simply claim, "not my circus, not my monkeys," or shun people, or un-friend them, then we limit our understanding of the world, we limit our exposure, we keep our blinders on, we do not grow.  Neither side hears the other.  How is "the other side" supposed to know your love if "your side" never allows them to see your love?

Back to that Golden Rule.  When the insults are lobbed at us, we bemoan that the "other side" is not nice, that they're bullies, they're whatever swear word comes to mind.  But, when "my side" lobs insults at the "other side" then that seems to be okay.

The Golden Rule is NOT "do as I say, not as I do."  As a kid, adults would tell me not to do a thing because it wasn't right nor nice, and then I'd see those same adults do the very thing they just told me not to do.  For example, my cousin and I would be riding in the backseat of Grandma's car and we'd insult people we saw.  Of course Grandma would tell us that was not very Christian of us, so we'd stop. And then within 5 minutes, Grandma would yell at some driver, insulting him/her in a very unChristian way.  My cousin and I, being the smart alecks we are, would tell her the same thing she'd just told us.  She didn't like that very much.

I used to be a very rude person.  I insulted people. I called people names. I made fun of others. Even though I did not like it when people were rude and/or insulting to me.  A vicious cycle of nastiness. As they did unto me (be nasty, insult), I did unto them. The sins of the father visited upon the son.

One time, that I barely recall, someone decided to speak up and actually tell me/yell at me that I was being rude and insulting and that what I was saying and how I was behaving hurt her.  I was taken aback.  She broke the cycle.  It woke me up from the haze I was in.

I gradually grew as a human being. I healed myself on a mental level, and then on a spiritual level. Though, I'm still learning to walk the walk and talk the talk because sometimes I still fall back into old habits, old patterns.

For example, I still occasionally yell at people while I'm driving, "NICE TURN SIGNAL DUMBASS!" And I'm all LMFAO at the Trump and Spicer impersonations on Saturday Night Live. I'm a work in progress.

youtu.be/pZOF9q5fzfs

I understand that sometimes there needs to be a mirror held up, that sometimes we need to speak up and say, "hey, I think you're wrong," and that comedians are often those mirrors and those voices. But, at some point, we need to stop hurling insults.  We need to break that vicious cycle of nastiness.

Peaceful, I reiterate Peaceful, protests are a good way to hold up that mirror and get your voice heard.

www.facebook.com/361050500931442/photos/a.361059087597250.1073741828.361050500931442/374754476227711/?type=3&theater

But, it rather negates your voice to stand at a protest while holding a sign that lobs an insult, no matter how clever and catchy it may seem.

We need to stop lobbing insults and issuing ultimatums and return to the table. Time to sit down and discuss.  Time to stop the "my side" vs "your side." If we can stop with the nastiness, maybe we can find our common ground.  Stop pointing out all the ways we are different and start looking at all the ways we are alike. We're all in this together.  We need to find and create "our side."

As you would have others do unto you, do unto them. No matter how slow your start, just start. One foot, then the other. If you fall (into old patterns), get up, dust yourself off and continue on. Live life in love. Stay gold, Ponyboy; stay gold.

Remembering Just a Few of the Many Lives Lost in 2016

Several famous people returned home to Heaven in 2016.  Their presence on Earth mattered.  Here’s just a smidge of how some of them mattered to me.

Harper Lee: The first author who wrote a book I was forced to read in AP English class that I actually enjoyed!  I read the book in one sitting.  Through the guise of fiction, she dropped some serious wisdom.

Gene Wilder: I adored him and Gilda.  They seemed such a sweet loving couple and their love for each other made me happy.  So many wonderful movies that made me smile.  I still quote the line, “Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?!”  LOL!  And, he gave me a Golden Ticket to change the world, ‘cause “there’s nothing to it.”

Alan Rickman:  He was so good at being a bad guy on Die Hard that I really didn’t like him for a long while.  Though, he was the perfect Marvin in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  But when he brought Snape to life, all was forgiven.  He melted my heart when I read his statement, “When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter.  And my family will say to me, ‘After all this time?’ And I will say, ‘Always.’”  So sweet! 

Florence Henderson: I loved The Brady Bunch and all the show’s incarnations.  I very much missed seeing her when the Brady’s stopped televising their lives.  I was happy to watch her again on Dancing with the Stars and that cooking competition show she was on.  I liked her; she seemed pretty cool.

Gary Marshall: He brought to life so many of my favorite shows and movies to life.  Love, American Style.  The Odd Couple.  Angie.  Happy Days.  Mork & Mindy.  Laverne & Shirley.  Joanie Loves ChaChi.  Beaches.  Pretty Woman.  The Princess Diaries.  All of these shows and movies are part of my memories and my development.

Alan Thicke: He taught me that “you take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both and there you have the Facts of Life.” He also preached that the world “don't move to the beat of just one drum; what might be right for you, may not be right for some.”  Exactly!

John Glenn: Pretty sure he’s the astronaut I met at a Star Trek Convention one year.  He had a table in the Vendor room and he was signing autographs for free…and no one was lined up at his table.  I could not believe that at a Sci-Fi convention, people were not geeking out over a guy who’d actually been in space!  I was shocked!  He looked lonely.  I’m not up on my astronaut knowledge and I couldn’t begin to name the actual mission(s) he was on, but I knew his name and that he was a pretty big deal.  I walked over to his table and got his autograph.  It was a bit awkward; I felt bad that I didn’t know every bit about him and therefore not confident enough to start up a conversation, but I’d have felt worse leaving him hangin’.

Carrie Fisher:  She had a rough go of life for awhile there, but she pulled through and figured out how to live her life.  I like her sense of humor.  I know she did other things, but she’ll always be Princess Badass to me.

Debbie Reynolds:  I love her in the Halloweentown movies.  What I love best though is the fact that she collected and preserved movie memorabilia.  A geek after my own heart.

Kenny Baker: I very much appreciate that he brought R2D2 to life.  R2 was awesome!

Tom Peterson: A guy from Portland, Oregon whose commercials woke everyone up late at night and whose haircut was all the buzz.  Just a salesman whose business ended up going under after several years, but he was good at getting people to know his name.  His face is all over my childhood as a Portland icon.  And I still remember the song someone did, “I woke up with a Tom Peterson haircut.”

Agnes Nixon:  She told me all about her children for years and I loved it.  My favorite lives to peek in on were those on One Life to Live.  I still miss that show.  Every once in a while, I wonder what Vicki and Dorian are up to.

Joseph Mascolo: I watched Days of Our Lives with my friend and her mom for about 1 year.  In that year, Stefano DiMera said one of the silliest yet memorable things in a fit of rage and annoyance, “DESTROY THE PHONE!”  That phrase unlocks cherished memories of time spent with my friend and her family.

Nancy Reagan:  I still remember her Just Say No campaign.  And it’s still good advice for any area of life, not just drugs.  If someone is telling you to do something you don’t want to do, just say no.  If someone is telling you to be something you are not, just say no.

Doris Roberts:  I was enchanted by her Mrs. Miracle performances.  From the sass of Marie Baron to the delightful and enchanting Mrs. Miracle; Doris had range.  I saw an interview she did where she explained she had a motto, “I don’t give in.  I don’t give up. I don’t settle.  And I never take no for an answer.”  I admire that.  Know yourself enough to know what you want in life and don’t settle for less than you desire.

George Michael: He taught me to have faith and give my heart to someone special.  I would’ve said he forgot to wake us up before he left, but then I read his obit, and given his work enlightening people as a gay rights activist, I’d say he did.

Zsa Zsa Gabor: Dahling.  I enjoyed seeing her on tv shows back in the day.  She seemed to ooze confidence and charm.  I smiled whenever she guest starred on something or was just on a talk show.

Muhammad Ali:  I’m not really a fan of boxing, but I admired his dedication to his sport.  And his, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” mantra is helpful on occasion.  Like another way of saying Roosevelt’s quote, “Talk softly, and carry a big stick.” Or is it, "Walk softly, and carry a big stick"?

Michu Meszaros:  I very much appreciate that he brought Gordon Shumway into my life.

Ray Tomlinson:  I honestly had no idea who this guy was until I read a list of people who’d passed away in 2016.  According to the list I read, he was the creator of email.  Wow!  That’s cool!  He impacted my life profoundly and I had no idea who he was until just now. 

Makiko Futaki: I didn’t much like anime until I saw Makiko’s work.  Mesmerizing.  I still don’t quite know what Howel’s Moving Castle is about, but I love it!  And Totoro?  What the heck is Totoro?  Not sure, but I love him!  Don’t ruin the magic by giving me an answer.

Glen Frey:  He sang The Heat is On – a song I played in Pep Band, over and over and over.  The man also brought Hotel California into my life.  Crank it up!!!  He checked out, but he’ll never truly leave.

David Bowie:  There are actually few songs of his that I like.  (I hear fans gasping in horror.)  I loved his acting.  Labyrinth.  I mean, come on…Labyrinth!  Am I right?!  Yes, I am.  Aside from that, I admired his strength of character; he was who he was, no pretending, no apologizing.  He seemed like a pretty cool guy.

Prince:  I first saw Prince on American Bandstand singing Little Red Corvette.  I fell in love with his music right then.  The man had talent.  A bright light and creative musician.  Though I didn’t really care for his acting, that didn’t turn me away from really really liking his music.  I think I like his Diamonds & Pearls CD best.  

Well, I’m going to put on my raspberry beret and go have some “starfish and coffee, maple syrup and jam” to ring in the new year.  

"If you set your mind free baby, maybe you'll understand."

May your 2017 be a good one!

Change is Coming Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I voted early by mail for the November 2016 elections in the United States. So, on Election Day, I put on my White Lily Divine Light raw energy pendant and I chose to walk a labyrinth and pray for the best possible outcome for my country.  I blew on a plant near the labyrinth that looked like a bunch of dandelions in bloom and wished for peace and love for all humankind.

On my way out of the labyrinth area, I was greeted by a white butterfly with black spots.

Later that night, election results revealed red state after red state.  Wait...how can that be right?

In case you hadn't yet figured it out, I did vote for Hillary.  In the very beginning of Trump's campaign, I really liked the "Stick it to The Man" appeal of having a non-politician be President; I am fed up with money overriding democracy.  I, a registered Democrat, almost voted for a Republican as President of the United States (POTUS).  I have voted for Republican candidates for other offices (including this time for 1 state position).  But, then I started hearing the words coming out of Trump's mouth during his campaign and in his past (which he later claimed he didn't say despite the video footage); I saw the things he did during his campaign and in his past (like mocking a differently abled person, and the alleged sexual misconduct). I chose to cast my vote for NOT Trump.

Yes, I was aware that Hillary had several issues as well.  I could go into a point by point list of all the issues that BOTH candidates seemed to share, but I don't want to waste my energy on points that were already made during the campaign.  Hillary hid her issues better than Trump did, like most politicians do.  I went ahead and cast my vote for Hillary because I was slightly less afraid that she would start WWIII vs. Trump; Hillary appeared to be the better diplomat.  I went ahead and cast my vote for Hillary because there seemed to be less hatred and more tolerance surrounding her campaign compared to Trump's campaign.

I thought I voted for love.

When Trump won, I thought hate won.  Seems I'm not alone in that thought.

On Election Night, I actually looked at the Canadian Realtor website.  Good God houses are expensive in Canada!

For those of you still reading and are thinking, "Good!  Get the fuck out then!  Don't let the door hit ya' where the good Lord split ya'!" I'm still here.

Regardless of whether Trump himself is a racist or not, the issue I have, and I suspect many other Hillary voters have as well, is that racism is rearing it's ugly head.  I'm not saying that if you voted for Trump, you are racist.  I know good people who voted for Trump because of reasons they deemed a choice/vote for love.

Despite many nit picky details of how to live life, I believe the majority of us were voting for what we thought was best.

In the days since the election, I've just been breathing, listening to the spirit world, listening to the physical world, questioning, and remembering.  For those who have not yet read my novel, which is most of you since I've sold only 4 copies to date, I remember being in Heaven before coming down to Earth, and I remember bits from the several times that we have all lived these lives before (sort of like past lives, but instead of being a different person, we're living these lives again).

To those of you still reading, thank you.  :-)

I now remember a time in a previous version of this life where Hillary did win.  Things were not all sunshine and roses.  Even with Hillary at the helm, racism was still prevalent.  However, we were still not truly dealing with it; it was as it has been.  Things did not change.  Racism continued to be the pus in a scabbed over wound that would not heal.

I now remember a time when Trump won where I did move to Canada along with many others from the US. The US went to Hell in a hand basket because we did not stand up for our beliefs, we gave up.  If we separate, we let hate win.

We are stronger together.  That was something Hillary's campaign had right.  But things weren't necessarily "better" when Hillary was President.

What I have been told from the Spirit world through visions is that Trump was supposed to win this time.  This IS actually the love and peace I prayed for.

Some still reading may be saying, "WTF?!"  I said that too at first.

This is the beginning of love and peace, if we do things right.

What has been happening in the United States is we've just been glossing over the issue/problem of racism without really dealing with it.  It's like wallpaper.  We've just been putting up layer after layer of wallpaper.  With each new layer, we claim things are better.  But, the old layers of wallpaper are still there.

Every once in awhile through the years, a layer would peel at the seam (eg. Rodney King) and we'd just tape it up or put up a new layer of wallpaper.  "There.  That's better.  More up to date."

Recently, the wallpaper has been peeling faster that we can "fix" it (eg. Native Americans at Standing Rock, and Black Lives Matter).

Now that Trump won, we're seeing, in a way we can no longer gloss over, that racism still exists.  It's exposed by a bright shining spotlight.

No more wallpaper layers.  A remodel is in order.

In a home remodel, some people see a wall covered in layer after layer of wallpaper and would rather demolish the wall than deal with removing all that wallpaper.  While that's one way to do it, so long as you properly support the structure so things don't come crashing down on you, that's not exactly what's needed in the remodeling of our country.  Destroying the walls all together is more of the same glossing over and hoping it all goes away that we've been doing.  Just because you don't see a physical wall, doesn't mean it's gone in a metaphysical/spiritual sense (like Phantom Limb Syndrome).  Put down your sledgehammers!

Time to get to the work of peeling away the layers of wallpaper.  Pick up your choice of either a steamer or a spray bottle and work towards physical and spiritual change.  Remodel this country with the delicate tool of love.  This will take time.  Be patient with yourself and others.

Under President Trump's governance of our country, we have the opportunity to show love, to demonstrate love, to shine love.

This day and every day, practice what you preach.  Be love.

Change is coming. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I pray that we all choose for that to be positive change.

May God be with us America, and also with you President Trump.

To those who are struggling on your healing paths, you are not alone.

I haven't written in a few months because I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to say.  But, I'd been receiving spirit messages that they want me to post about my journey.  Today, I was finally convinced that I actually had something to say, so I'm finally listening and posting.

Since I started on my path to healing at the beginning of this year after reading Medical Medium, I've read social media posts of other people's accounts of how well they're doing on their paths.  On the one hand, I'm happy for them.  On the other, rather than be motivational for me, it's a bit of a downer.  Why would their success make me feel not great?  Because my healing path journey is LONG and winding whereas theirs seems to be quick and straight.

I read others' positive messages and I realize that's a good thing, that they're just trying to be positive and helpful and motivating.

And then there's me.  In the beginning, I was super excited and one of those people who wanted to be positive and helpful and motivating to others.  I ate lots of fruits, vegetables, and leafy greens, and I took Hawaiian spirulina and elderberry supplements.  I even started drinking juice blends with celery juice because I knew that what I really needed to do was to drink celery juice by itself but I detested celery and I was making myself get used to the taste.

Days, weeks, months later and I'm still on the healing path.

There are days when I have energy and motivation.

There are days when I feel like I'm crawling down the healing path.

There are days when I feel like the path is muddy and I'm slogging through the mud.

There are days when a detox response has me paused on the path while I rest. Sometimes, it's a long pause.

There are days when I have no energy.

On the more difficult days, that's when it's the hardest for me to continue.

On the hard days, when I don't have the energy to prepare good food, when I don't have the energy to go grocery shopping, when the only foods in the house are those for family who aren't on the same path, that's when it's easy fall.

It's this struggle that made me not want to write a blog post for awhile.

My delay in listening to the spirits was because I wondered why I should be writing about being on a healing path when I wasn't doing well; I'm not doing things perfectly so why should people listen to me?

It's this struggle that spirits are telling me to write about.  My understanding is that I'm not the only one who may feel a bit defeated in listening to all the uber positive messages about how well some people seem to be doing on their healing paths.  How is uber positive not helpful and motivating to all?  Because it feels like, I'm not doing as well as them so I must not be doing well at all.

Some of the struggles I've had:

• I started eating a few foods here and there that I knew were not healthy because my instinct when having a big detox response is to slow it down, to ease up on the throttle. I do this because I've had spirit messages before to not do things too fast health-wise because I could end up doing more harm than good.
• There's the effort of preparing fruits and vegetables.  My energy ebbs and flows so I like to do food prep all in one day so that when my energy ebbs, I can just grab something healthy already done.  But, I take a long time to clean and chop.  Recently, I made potato salad for my Dad for his birthday and it took me around 6 hours to clean, cook, and chop.  I would not last long on a competition cooking show; in my 1 hour to prepare a dish, I'd still be doing my mise en place and have nothing plated.  Not sure why it takes me so long...maybe my knife skills?
• And then, there's money.  (I find it annoying that healthy foods cost more than foods that harm.)  I've purposely not bought all the fruits and vegetables I want/need in order to save money.  I've bought juices that do not have celery in them because that blend was not on sale.  And I've gone without spirulina and/or elderberry for weeks when I've run out just to save some money.
• Not eating wild blueberries because I couldn't find any at the store.  Woodstock Farms was having supply issues.  My guess is that more and more people are listening to Anthony William and those people are buying up the wild blueberries so they can heal.
• Living in a small-ish town that doesn't have a lot of vegan options means I have to prepare my own food more so than I would prefer at times.  Granted, there are more vegetarian options available now than when I first moved here several years ago, but there's really only an option or two on any given menu.  And like I said, the options are mostly vegetarian; cheese is pervasive.
• Social settings in which ultra pushy people offer you "treats." This is not a recent issue for me.  This is an on-going issue.  It's like if they're offering food, but I decline, then I'm being rude.  It's apparently not rude if they continue to push food on me that I don't want to eat for whatever my reason.  I understand the host/hostess went through the trouble and effort and thought and care of preparing the dessert or whatever, but I shouldn't be pressured into eating it just because of that.
• There's also the celebration dinners in which I've partaken that weren't exactly healthy in order to feel part of the celebration, and also to make it easier effort-wise on my part so that I didn't have to prepare 2 different meals for the celebration.
• The fact that my family is not on the same healing path.  I tried to remedy this recently by giving my mom Anthony's book to read.  She read the first chapter and said that Anthony seems a bit weird.  I know he's not. She supports me eating healthy, but our definitions of what is and isn't healthy differ. Her mind space right now is that healthy eating means achieving and maintaining a healthy weight.  My mind space is that healthy eating means recovering from viruses.
• The duration of time in which it's taking me to heal. 

Once I stumble, I find it easier to keep stumbling.  A slippery slope of cheese, mayo, saltine crackers, tortilla chips, ice cream, sugar, eggs, coffee, butter, etc.

I actually hadn't realized how far down my healing path I'd come until I slid down the slope a ways. Thankfully I didn't slide all the way back to the beginning, but I did definitely slide.

On one or more of Anthony's online radio shows, he's mentioned that for some people, it may take awhile to heal, that a person who's been ill for say 40+ years may not heal quickly.  It took awhile for that to sink in.

But, for all my struggles and stumbles , I still keep on my healing path. I keep on my healing path because I know with all my soul that Anthony William really is relaying messages from Spirit. The path is real.  Health is attainable.

My motivation is my health, my hope of being without daily pain, my hope of doing all the things in life I desire without feeling like I need to take a nap instead.

To all those who are struggling, there's no shame in falling down.  Stay on your healing path, keep moving forward, even if you have to crawl.

And the moral of the story is: listen to the messages from the spirits.

Last week I was in Las Vegas, NV house sitting for my friend while she was on vacation.  I was enjoying my time, relaxing, eating at restaurants, watching movies, whatever I felt like doing. Thought I had things figured out, or at least 95% figured out.

On Tuesday, June 7, I read the Facebook post of Eddie Mullins:

Yea, yea, yea, I got this.  No sweat.  Now that I know it's around, I won't succumb to the anger.

I went to lunch at Vamp'd, the restaurant of Danny "Count" Koker from History channel's Counting Cars.  Lunch was great.  The food tasted good.  The atmosphere was excellent.  My waitress was super nice.  The day was good...so far.

I had dinner at Krayvings. The parking lot was a bit of a nightmare, but once I finally found the place and got inside, I liked the decor, though the entrance is a bit odd.  My order arrived quickly.  The juice was good.  The salad was edible, but not the best ever salad.  I got a To Go box for the last half of my salad and I ordered a 32 ounce Pineapple Mojito juice to go.  I held on to the juice while looking for my keys in my purse as I walked out the door. Then I noticed I had juice on my hand, my purse, and my foot (I was wearing sandals).

Okay, so lesson learned: don't squish juice cups while looking for your keys.  I thought I handled the mess well.  I got back to the house, washed my hands, put my clothes in the laundry.  All was fine.

Then Wednesday came.

June 8th started out fine.  I went to Sambalatte, not by my friend's house, but one in the area of town where lives a guy who I thought was The One.  I got a Matcha Latte made with almond milk, & a fresh fruit bowl.  Rather expensive for every day, but it all tasted good.

Then I went to my detox foot bath appointment.  Decided to go ahead and do some sort of LED? light thing on my head to help clear out a possible infection. Got to pet a 17 year old dog named Ginger.

So far so good for the day.

I went back to the house for a little bit to find that the smoke alarm was beeping like the battery was running low.  Fabulous.  I'll deal with it later.  I wanted to go see a movie.

I decided to have a little fun and bust some ghosts; I went to see the 1984 version of Ghostbusters. One of my favorite lines: "When somebody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"

After the movie, I was trying to decide where to go eat dinner.  I was thinking of Go Raw Cafe just down the street from the theater.  But, I also wanted to go eat at Go Vegan Cafe again, which is not too far away from where The One guy lives.  As I was deciding, I kept getting messages from the spirits to not go over to The One guy's area of town, to just stay on my side of town.  But, I didn't listen.  I went to Go Vegan Cafe.

And that's when the "fun" began.

I got fairly rotten service (or rather pretty much no service) at Go Vegan Cafe.  I ended up storming out when the 1 guy there who'd said he be back to take my order finally came out from the back and sat down to eat soup rather than take my order.

I went across the street to Jaburrito instead.  I walked in behind some lady who couldn't decide what to order and blocked the line holding everyone else up.  So, since the staff wasn't asking her to step aside, I asked her if I could go in front of her since she was still deciding.  She said yes.

However, I guess the staff didn't hear me ask and got all indignant with me so I had to stop progress and explain that I asked her if I could cut in front of her and that she said yes.  The staff reluctantly helped me.  It wasn't a big deal until they made it a big deal.  I got my 2 sushi rolls and I was on my way, irritated, but on my way.

I decided to stop by Peridot Sweets bakery while I was on that side of town to see if they had any new flavors of macarons yet.  I went a couple of days earlier and I didn't like the flavors they had.  I pulled into the parking lot and there were kids skateboarding on the sidewalk in front of the bakery.  I had to cross their path which was annoying to have to do; at least they were decent enough to wait for me to come and go.

I walked into the bakery.  The bell on the door dinged.  I walked over to the case and looked to find they still had the same macaron flavors.  And I left.  The entire time I was in there, there was no staff. I found the lack of customer service irritating.

Turning left out of that parking lot onto Rainbow was not an option at that time of day, so I turned right on the side street.  Then I turned right at the 4-way stop I came to rather than trying to go straight because I really don't like 4-way stops and turning right seemed easier.  Then I came to another 4-way stop and again turned right.  So, I ended up back to needing to turn left on Rainbow, but at a light this time.  That detour took 10 to 15 minutes.

I'm hot, I'm hungry, I've got a headache, and I'm still irritated about the bad service at Go Vegan Cafe. I ask out loud while driving, "What is wrong with today?"  I mean, it started out pretty good.  What happened?

I was reminded of Eddie's Facebook post about anger.  Ah.  Yes, I must've gotten caught up.

I finally got back to the house after dealing with rush hour traffic, and oh yeah, the beeping smoke detector.  Great, I'll deal with it after I eat.

I started up my computer, unwrapped my Jaburrito sushi rolls, and prepared to watch Brother vs Brother and participate in the live tweeting.

I enjoyed the live tweeting, but did not enjoy my chicken sushi roll.  That experiment was not a success.  I'll stick with the tamago sushi roll with wasabi mayo.

Okay, so I find a ladder in my friend's garage and realize it's too short.  So, I text her on her vacation and interrupted her watching the Dodgers game at the stadium to see if they have a taller ladder.  She said there should be a tall one next to the fridge in the garage.  So, I found the taller ladder, climbed up, managed to pull the detector off the ceiling but could not figure out where the battery would be. Tilting my head back was making me dizzy (an issue I've been healing for a couple of weeks & why I chose to do the LED? light therapy thing), so I carefully climbed down from the ladder.

I texted my friend that there was no battery and wondered if it was a carbon monoxide detector vs a smoke detector.  I used to work for a home builder and I had my own house for a couple of years, yet I could not for the life of me remember that smoke detectors are now also carbon monoxide detectors and they're all linked so that if one goes off they all go off; also couldn't remember that the battery compartment didn't pull out, it swivels.

So, after freaking out that the beeping might actually be alerting me to carbon monoxide and opening the patio doors to let in fresh hot air, my friend called the guy that helps them take care of a rental property and had him come over to check things out.  He changed the battery and the detector stopped beeping.  He was a very nice guy; he helped without making me feel stupid.  Though, after he left is when I realized I should've known all that.

At least I didn't have to try to climb the ladder again.  I was receiving messages from spirits to be very careful on the ladder because I could fall off since I've been dizzy.  Maybe that's why my brain fritzed and he needed to come over.

Finally, it's quiet.  My headache was gone since I'd eaten.  So, I dinked around on the computer. I again found my way to Eddie's Facebook posts.

So, what I got out of reading Tuesday's post again and reading Wednesday's post was that somehow I was stuck in an old way of thinking.  What was I not realizing?  What was a new way of thinking?

I then came across the Wednesday Energy Minute from Eden Energy Medicine Programs.

I did that and it helped me to clam down.  I went to bed still wondering what I needed to know.

I didn't sleep much.  When I awoke on June 9th, I celebrated Bill & Ted Day (69, Dudes!) by watching Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure while I ate breakfast.

After the movie, I felt I needed to listen to Eddie's podcast about working through change.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/heart--soul-radio-network/2016/06/08/sacred-shamanic-pathways-with-eddie-mullins--working-through-change

I found it helpful to learn that just because I'm ascending into my light body, it doesn't mean that somehow I'm supposed to be perfect.  Eddie says things don't become easier, just different.  He advised to let the change unfold; to be present with whatever is coming forward; to create space with compassion.

Eddie also said, "The best thing to do with anger is go underneath it to see what it is really about. Because, what we want to do is we wanna see inside the anger, we wanna see the emotional connection."  He advised to follow it through, to go into Observer Mode to find out what it's showing you.

The Power Animal Eddie mentions towards the end of the podcast is Squirrel.  Eddie says that Squirrel's message is that even though we have a lot going on, we have to remember to be playful.

The angel Eddie mentions towards the end of the podcast is Archangel Rafael.  Eddie says that Archangel Rafael is the comedian angel of joy, laughter, and fun.

The last thing in Eddie's podcast that I took note of was his interpretation of Squirrel and Archangel Rafael, "When we embrace joy, & when we embrace laughter, & we have fun, it helps to ground us; it helps us to move through things."

Okay.  I just go told to have some fun.  Will do.

Since it's Bill & Ted Day, I deiced I had to get gas at a Circle K.  But first, a photo:

Something's afoot at the Circle K.

Then it was Pho Kim Long time.  ;-)

If you're not laughing your butt off, then you probably don't know how to pronounce Pho.

Pho Kim Long time was hot...because I added all of the jalapeño slices to my Pho Ga.

I tried to use chopsticks, but my chopsticks skills are not yet up to Pho level, so I had to fork it.

I had fun.  Lunch was good.

On my way home, I pulled to the side of the road for an ambulance coming the opposite direction with it's lights on but no siren.  However, the butthead behind me decided to honk at me as he passed. Several other cars also kept driving.  Finally people realized what was going on and stopped so the ambulance could finally go.  I don't know why there was no siren; that would've helped.  But, that whole thing stuck in my craw.  Pay attention people!

That 1 incident brought up the irritation of yesterday, especially the soup eating waiter at Go Vegan Cafe.

When I got home, I did the energy thing from Donna Eden.  That helped me calm down.

Got on the computer and found this Facebook post from Dr. Wayne Dyer:

I then found my way to some information that let me know that the guy I thought was The One was so very not.  And that was what the old way of thinking message was about; that's how I was stuck.

Okay.  So now what? What's my new reality?

I realized that I didn't feel as lost as I would've been had my reality been rocked in this manner a few years ago.  And then I realized that because I'd gone through The Healing Path offered for free on the Medical Medium site, I was better able to handle this shift than I would've just months ago.  I'm glad I went through it as fast as I did.

Then, an offer on Energy Artist Julia's site came to my attention.  And the message to me was that this pendant that I've had my eye on but had not purchased was something I needed to have on my healing journey, so much so that there was a discount offered so that I'd buy it.  "The Flower of Life contains a sacred power pattern which activates energy coding within your mind, helping you access the higher vibrational presence."

http://energyartistjulia.bigcartel.com/product/the-flower-of-life-sacred-energy-pendant-the-vibration-of-god-ii

Ordered it.  Watched a bit of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.  Went to bed.  Didn't sleep well.

Got up after a few hours of sleep and watched the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey while I ate breakfast.

Station!

Then I was off to my detox foot bath appointment where I opted to do a 2nd round of that LED? light treatment thing because I noticed a significant reduction in the dizzy.

On my way back home, I stopped by Rainbow's End and got a Toxins Be Gone juice (apple & cranberry).  Hoo wee that was tart.  Stopped by Bonanza Gift Shop to pick up a Father's Day present. Then stopped by Whole Foods to get some fabric softener.

I was considering whether or not to do anything else before heading back to the house, and the answer from the spirit world was no, just go home.

Good thing I listened. Got home, put clothes in the washer, and then made a wrap out of part of the salad I got yesterday and a Cowboy Quinoa patty with some Trader Joe's Sirracha Roasted Garlic BBQ sauce. Put the clothes in the dryer and fell asleep.  I woke up when the dryer buzzed and I took my clothes out.  Then I fell back to sleep.  Woke up around 3:30 a.m. because of the rain beating down on something.  Fell back to sleep until morning.  I slept for about 12 hours.

On Saturday, I got up and still felt a bit tired.  I had a slow start to my day, and I considered not having a start at all and just staying at home all day.  But, I found my way to a post about the Health, Healing, & Happiness Expo happening over at Tuscany.  So, I showered and headed over.  I got some things I'd been wanting, like the lemon and lime doTERRA oils for putting drops in my water. Also got delicious vegan cookies, vegan chips, and organic teas and organic spices from local artisans.

At some point over the past couple of days since finding out about not being on the correct track about The One guy, I'd realized that that guy was a soul contract and that contract had been fulfilled. So, I unfollowed him on social media since following him was no longer serving my best interests.

Once I finally listened to all the messages I'd been getting from the spirit world, I finally started to progress.  I hadn't realized I was stagnant.

Once I started moving again on my healing journey, I realized why things were going the way they'd been going.  I realized that things are fine.  I realized that a soul who I'd been told was a "no go" was just stepping aside to allow me to fulfill the soul contract and he's waiting for me.  <3

I wouldn't have realized all this had I not eventually listened to the messages, and had I not kept an open mind and heart to receive.  I'm still working on my receptive abilities; it's a process to trust what I'm receiving and I am getting better at it.

Thanks to all who aided me on this journey!  Peace and love.

Don't remember where I snagged this image from, but I love it!