To those who are struggling on your healing paths, you are not alone.

I haven't written in a few months because I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to say.  But, I'd been receiving spirit messages that they want me to post about my journey.  Today, I was finally convinced that I actually had something to say, so I'm finally listening and posting.

Since I started on my path to healing at the beginning of this year after reading Medical Medium, I've read social media posts of other people's accounts of how well they're doing on their paths.  On the one hand, I'm happy for them.  On the other, rather than be motivational for me, it's a bit of a downer.  Why would their success make me feel not great?  Because my healing path journey is LONG and winding whereas theirs seems to be quick and straight.

I read others' positive messages and I realize that's a good thing, that they're just trying to be positive and helpful and motivating.

And then there's me.  In the beginning, I was super excited and one of those people who wanted to be positive and helpful and motivating to others.  I ate lots of fruits, vegetables, and leafy greens, and I took Hawaiian spirulina and elderberry supplements.  I even started drinking juice blends with celery juice because I knew that what I really needed to do was to drink celery juice by itself but I detested celery and I was making myself get used to the taste.

Days, weeks, months later and I'm still on the healing path.

There are days when I have energy and motivation.

There are days when I feel like I'm crawling down the healing path.

There are days when I feel like the path is muddy and I'm slogging through the mud.

There are days when a detox response has me paused on the path while I rest. Sometimes, it's a long pause.

There are days when I have no energy.

On the more difficult days, that's when it's the hardest for me to continue.

On the hard days, when I don't have the energy to prepare good food, when I don't have the energy to go grocery shopping, when the only foods in the house are those for family who aren't on the same path, that's when it's easy fall.

It's this struggle that made me not want to write a blog post for awhile.

My delay in listening to the spirits was because I wondered why I should be writing about being on a healing path when I wasn't doing well; I'm not doing things perfectly so why should people listen to me?

It's this struggle that spirits are telling me to write about.  My understanding is that I'm not the only one who may feel a bit defeated in listening to all the uber positive messages about how well some people seem to be doing on their healing paths.  How is uber positive not helpful and motivating to all?  Because it feels like, I'm not doing as well as them so I must not be doing well at all.

Some of the struggles I've had:

• I started eating a few foods here and there that I knew were not healthy because my instinct when having a big detox response is to slow it down, to ease up on the throttle. I do this because I've had spirit messages before to not do things too fast health-wise because I could end up doing more harm than good.
• There's the effort of preparing fruits and vegetables.  My energy ebbs and flows so I like to do food prep all in one day so that when my energy ebbs, I can just grab something healthy already done.  But, I take a long time to clean and chop.  Recently, I made potato salad for my Dad for his birthday and it took me around 6 hours to clean, cook, and chop.  I would not last long on a competition cooking show; in my 1 hour to prepare a dish, I'd still be doing my mise en place and have nothing plated.  Not sure why it takes me so long...maybe my knife skills?
• And then, there's money.  (I find it annoying that healthy foods cost more than foods that harm.)  I've purposely not bought all the fruits and vegetables I want/need in order to save money.  I've bought juices that do not have celery in them because that blend was not on sale.  And I've gone without spirulina and/or elderberry for weeks when I've run out just to save some money.
• Not eating wild blueberries because I couldn't find any at the store.  Woodstock Farms was having supply issues.  My guess is that more and more people are listening to Anthony William and those people are buying up the wild blueberries so they can heal.
• Living in a small-ish town that doesn't have a lot of vegan options means I have to prepare my own food more so than I would prefer at times.  Granted, there are more vegetarian options available now than when I first moved here several years ago, but there's really only an option or two on any given menu.  And like I said, the options are mostly vegetarian; cheese is pervasive.
• Social settings in which ultra pushy people offer you "treats." This is not a recent issue for me.  This is an on-going issue.  It's like if they're offering food, but I decline, then I'm being rude.  It's apparently not rude if they continue to push food on me that I don't want to eat for whatever my reason.  I understand the host/hostess went through the trouble and effort and thought and care of preparing the dessert or whatever, but I shouldn't be pressured into eating it just because of that.
• There's also the celebration dinners in which I've partaken that weren't exactly healthy in order to feel part of the celebration, and also to make it easier effort-wise on my part so that I didn't have to prepare 2 different meals for the celebration.
• The fact that my family is not on the same healing path.  I tried to remedy this recently by giving my mom Anthony's book to read.  She read the first chapter and said that Anthony seems a bit weird.  I know he's not. She supports me eating healthy, but our definitions of what is and isn't healthy differ. Her mind space right now is that healthy eating means achieving and maintaining a healthy weight.  My mind space is that healthy eating means recovering from viruses.
• The duration of time in which it's taking me to heal. 

Once I stumble, I find it easier to keep stumbling.  A slippery slope of cheese, mayo, saltine crackers, tortilla chips, ice cream, sugar, eggs, coffee, butter, etc.

I actually hadn't realized how far down my healing path I'd come until I slid down the slope a ways. Thankfully I didn't slide all the way back to the beginning, but I did definitely slide.

On one or more of Anthony's online radio shows, he's mentioned that for some people, it may take awhile to heal, that a person who's been ill for say 40+ years may not heal quickly.  It took awhile for that to sink in.

But, for all my struggles and stumbles , I still keep on my healing path. I keep on my healing path because I know with all my soul that Anthony William really is relaying messages from Spirit. The path is real.  Health is attainable.

My motivation is my health, my hope of being without daily pain, my hope of doing all the things in life I desire without feeling like I need to take a nap instead.

To all those who are struggling, there's no shame in falling down.  Stay on your healing path, keep moving forward, even if you have to crawl.